After the date for the wedding had been set and verified with the church and the priest, Marco called his father, Lorenzo. His father thanked him and told him that he would be there at least three days in advance so that they could spend some time together and also meet Sitti and her family.
The plans went quickly for the wedding. It wasn’t the Santos family’s first rodeo; they already had Sitti’s older sister, Christina’s, wedding under their belt. I have included much information on getting married in the Philippines below and in the appendices. I have chosen not to cover the actual wedding in depth, mainly because, as I have previously stated, Marco is the victim of this book, not the hero, so it does not add to the story to spend an enormous amount of space devoted to all of the nuances of his life. Because weddings are frequently unique in different countries, I decided to dedicate some space to covering some of the components of a Filipino wedding.
Each country has its laws and requirements for marriage. These requirements may vary depending on the legal status of future spouses (citizens or foreigners). So, before you’re ready for your wedding, you should learn the rules for getting married in the country where you want to get married. Since Marco was a foreigner, it was excellent advice to follow. Seeing how Marco was a foreigner, life just got a whole lot more complicated for the young couple.
Under normal circumstances, there are seven stages to getting married in the Philippines. (1) Choose whether you want to get married in a church or have a civil marriage. It affects: the package of documents you need to collect, the number of costs and time and preparation, the place of registration, and the procedure itself. (2) Collect all necessary documents and certificates. This list should be clarified for foreign citizens at their country’s embassy. (3) Submit valid documents and certificates to the civil registry office. Some documents have limited validity, so do not delay submitting them. (4) Attend wedding seminars, they will help. (5) Prepare for the ceremony: choose a place, date, and time and book them in advance; prepare clothes, decorations, and invitations; invite witnesses; buy rings and take care of transportation. (6) Come to the ceremony with two adult witnesses 21 years of age, and confirm your consent to the marriage in front of an authorized person. (7) After receiving all documents, the foreigner must witness the marriage at the embassy or consulate of the home country.
Marco needed to have five documents or items to marry Sitti. (1) A certificate of ability to marry, or LCCM. He was able to get it at the embassy of his home country in Manila. (2) A birth certificate (3) A document confirming that he was not married. (4) A current 2×2 photo. (5) Finally, a copy of his passport. Sitti needed a birth and unmarried status certificate, a valid ID, a Community Tax Certificate CEDULA or CTC, a 2×2 photo, and notarized parental advice (from 21 to 25 years old).
Sitti and Marco needed a few other things as well. (1) They needed to complete the marriage license form. (2) They had a waiting period, as Philippine law typically requires ten days after applying before the marriage license is issued. (3) Marco and Sitti needed to register the marriage and obtain a Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) Marriage Certificate after the ceremony.
Now that we have all the legal mumbo jumbo out of the way, we need to get to the nitty gritty of the wedding ceremony.
Filipino weddings are testaments to love, family, and tradition. From the celebration of engagement to the intricacies of traditional attire and superstitions, Filipino weddings are steeped in rich customs that have been passed down through generations.
Celebration of Engagement: Sealing Love with Tradition
In Filipino culture, the journey towards marriage begins long before the wedding day itself. One of the earliest traditions is the celebration of engagement, known as “Pamamanhikan.” This cherished custom involves the groom’s family formally visiting the bride’s home to ask for her hand in marriage. It is a joyous occasion filled with love, laughter, and the exchange of blessings between the two families.
During the Pamamanhikan, the groom’s family presents gifts to the bride’s family as a symbol of their sincerity and commitment. These gifts often include fruits, sweets, and other tokens of appreciation. The couple’s parents play a central role in the proceedings, offering their blessings and guidance as the couple prepares to embark on their journey towards marriage.
Naming Godparents: Fostering Spiritual Guidance and Support
In addition to their immediate families, Filipino couples often turn to trusted friends and relatives to serve as godparents, or “Ninongs” and “Ninangs,” in their wedding ceremony. These godparents play a significant role in the couple’s lives, offering spiritual guidance, support, and wisdom as they navigate the ups and downs of married life.
The selection of godparents is a deeply personal decision, often based on the couple’s close relationships and shared values. In many cases, godparents are chosen from among the couple’s parents, siblings, or close friends who have played a meaningful role in their lives. By naming godparents, couples seek to surround themselves with a community of love and support as they embark on their journey together.
Family Involvement: Building Bonds and Unity
Family plays a central role in Filipino weddings, with various traditions and customs designed to foster unity and harmony between the two families. From the pamamanhikan to the wedding ceremony itself, family members are actively involved in the celebration, lending their love, support, and blessings to the couple as they prepare to start their married life together.
One such tradition is the “Salu-Salo,” or wedding reception, where families and friends come together to feast, dance, and celebrate the newlyweds’ union. The Salu-Salo is a joyous occasion filled with laughter, music, and heartfelt speeches, as guests shower the couple with love and well-wishes for a lifetime of happiness.
Parental Blessings: Seeking Blessings for a Lifetime of Happiness
Before the wedding ceremony begins, it is customary for the bride and groom to seek the blessings of their parents. This touching tradition symbolizes the couple’s gratitude and respect for their parents’ love and guidance throughout their lives.
During the blessing ceremony, the parents of the bride and groom offer their heartfelt prayers and blessings for the couple’s future happiness and prosperity. This solemn moment serves as a reminder of the importance of family and the enduring bonds of love that unite us all.
Cord and Veil: Symbols of Unity and Protection
Central to many Filipino wedding ceremonies are the rituals involving the cord and veil, which symbolize unity, protection, and the bond of marriage. The veil, often a delicate piece of fabric or lace, is placed over the heads of the bride and groom, symbolizing their unity and the love that will envelop them throughout their married life.
The cord, typically made from silk or satin, is looped around the couple’s shoulders in the shape of a figure-eight, symbolizing the infinite bond of love and fidelity that binds them together. Together, the cord and veil serve as powerful symbols of the couple’s commitment to supporting each other through life’s joys and challenges.
13 Coins: A Promise of Prosperity and Unity
One of the most iconic Filipino wedding traditions is the “arras,” or 13 coins, which symbolize prosperity, unity, and the couple’s shared responsibility for their future together. During the wedding ceremony, the groom presents the coins to the bride, symbolizing his commitment to providing for her and their future family.
The coins are often blessed by a priest or officiant before being presented to the bride, symbolizing the couple’s faith and dedication to their marriage. The exchange of coins is a solemn and meaningful moment in the wedding ceremony, representing the couple’s pledge to support each other financially and emotionally as they embark on their journey together.
Unity Candle: Illuminating the Path of Love
In many Filipino wedding ceremonies, couples participate in the lighting of a unity candle, symbolizing the merging of two families and the creation of a new family unit. The candle is typically lit by the couple’s parents, signifying their love, support, and blessings as the couple begins their married life together.
The unity candle ceremony is a poignant reminder of the importance of family and the enduring bonds of love that unite us all. It is a moment of reflection and gratitude, as the couple and their loved ones come together to celebrate the joyous occasion of their union.
Wedding Reception: Feasting and Festivities
No Filipino wedding would be complete without a lavish wedding reception, or “Binyagang Bayan,” where families and friends come together to feast, dance, and celebrate the newlyweds’ union. The reception is a joyous occasion filled with laughter, music, and heartfelt speeches, as guests shower the couple with love and well-wishes for a lifetime of happiness.
The reception typically features an array of delicious Filipino dishes, such as adobo, lechon, and pancit, as well as traditional desserts like halo-halo and bibingka. Guests are treated to a feast for the senses, as they indulge in the sights, sounds, and flavors of Filipino culture.
Traditional Filipino Wedding Attire: A Splash of Culture and Elegance
Central to any Filipino wedding is the attire worn by the bride and groom, which often reflects the country’s rich cultural heritage and elegance. The groom typically wears a Barong Tagalog, a traditional Filipino formal attire made from delicate piña or jusi fabric, while the bride dazzles in a Filipiniana dress adorned with intricate embroidery and elegant designs.
These traditional garments not only showcase the couple’s heritage but also symbolize their commitment to honoring tradition and culture on their special day. The bride and groom are a vision of elegance and grace as they exchange vows and embark on their journey towards marriage.
Filipino Wedding Superstitions: Navigating Tradition and Belief
In addition to the cherished traditions and customs, Filipino weddings are often accompanied by various superstitions and beliefs aimed at ensuring good luck and prosperity for the couple. Some common superstitions include avoiding wearing black or red to the wedding, not getting married on a Tuesday or Friday, and ensuring that the wedding rings are not dropped during the ceremony. These superstitions are a testament to the enduring belief in the power of love, faith, and tradition in Filipino culture. Couples may choose to embrace these superstitions as part of their wedding celebration or simply enjoy them as colorful anecdotes passed down through generations. Filipino wedding traditions are a celebration of love, family, and culture, weaving together ancient customs with modern romance. By incorporating these cherished rituals into your own wedding celebration, you not only honor your heritage but also create a meaningful and memorable experience for you and your loved ones.
Since Sitti and Marco were both Catholics, they followed the Catholic wedding ceremony format, which included the following steps. (1) The Processional: Just like a nondenominational wedding, the groom, the wedding party, and then finally, the bride walk into the ceremony. However, unlike a nondenominational wedding, the priest walks in first. When he reaches the altar, that’s when everyone follows. (2) Entrance Rites: Just like in any mass, the entrance rites are read. (3) Readings and the Gospel: Following this, two readings (one from the Old Testament, one from the New) and the holy Gospel are read. This would be based on the Church’s liturgical calendar in a regular mass. However, at your wedding, you get to choose which readings and Gospel passage are read. (4) Homily: Next, everyone sits while the priest gives a sermon that relates to marriage, love, and commitment, and to the readings and the Gospel passage that you chose. (5) Rite of Marriage: This is equivalent to the exchange of vows in a nondenominational ceremony. The Catholic Church has a specific set of vows that you could either memorize or read from a book. Another option is to have the priest read them out for you as you respond “I do.” (6) Ring Ceremony: During the ring exchange, the priest will bless the union with a prayer and holy water. As the couple exchanges rings with one another, they also recite a prayer. (7) Offertory, Liturgy of the Eucharist, Lord’s Prayer, Sign of Peace, Holy Communion: Like in any mass, the Offertory, Liturgy of the Eucharist, Lord’s Prayer, Sign of Peace, and Holy Communion follow. (8) The Kiss: This will be one of the few times when kissing in a church is permitted! The priest announces, “You may now kiss the bride,” and the couple have their magical moment. (9) Nuptial Blessing: The priest closes the mass with a blessing, marking the end of the wedding ceremony. (10) The Recessional:The priest, the newlyweds, their families, and the wedding party walk down the aisle.
The wedding went smoothly and was a smashing success. The bride, of course, looked beautiful, and the groom was very handsome. Everyone had a great time. The family couldn’t be happier with the bride and groom’s choices for their respective partners. Lorenzo just adored Sitti. Her family, in turn, found Lorenze to be very affable.
After the wedding ceremony and reception were over, Marco and Sitti, as agreed upon, traveled to Palawan for their honeymoon. They thought this would be an appropriate place to start their marriage since it was where they first met. Unfortunately, it would also be the place where their lives together ended.