When Will Putin Get His Head Out Of His Ass?

I have written several articles on postings related to politics. A list of links have been provided at bottom of this article for your convenience. This article will, however address different aspects on these political events.

We only see what the rest of the world sees in the case of Putin, but apparently Russians see a totally different person. When I thought about writing this article I must admit I had some preconceived ideas. I should not be surprised that there is always at two sides to a story, sometimes even more. The vast majority of the world, thanks to Ukraine think Putin is a monster, but over 140 million people think he is a a savior and a restorer of Russia’s greatness. I would not have thought this was the case until I heard a young Ukrainian woman saying that her Russian mother did not believe what her daughter was saying was happening to her. She basically called her daughter that se was a lair, talk about either good PR or brainwashing. This is what we are fighting.

7 Reasons Vladimir Putin Is the World’s Craziest Badass

Vladimir Putin is what happens when James Bond gets one of his villains pregnant and the child grows up to kick both their asses. An ex-secret agent now in charge of the entire Eastern Bloc, he’s the good and bad guys combined so that the morality cancels out and you’re left with the best part of a Hollywood movie: pure, unadulterated ass kicking.

He presided over a sextupling of Russia’s GDP, the doubling of average national wages, signed bills mandating increased wages for teachers and nurses, and his approval rating is so constantly, ridiculously high, he’s the only world leader reviewed by IGN. Either he is ruthlessly exploiting the media or he is a real-life action hero of such colossal scope that any movie starring him would seem absurd.

7. Flying and Fire Fighting

When wildfires ravaged the Ryazan region of Russia last year, Putin didn’t appear in front of a camera to assure residents that everything possible was being done, he appeared in the front of a Beriev BE-200 amphibious aircraft to do it himself. Initially a passenger on the fire-fighting flight, the Prime Minister took this natural disaster’s attack on his homeland personally and seized the copilot’s seat. He then throttle-aimed the plane at the fire and personally beat a wildfire into submission.

Via The Kremlin

Using Air and Water to fight Fire — he just kicked 60 percent of Captain Planet’s ass.

What would be a memorable event in anyone’s life, flying a plane filled with water was just another day for Putin. He’s had more kickass vehicles under his command than Optimus Prime; he flew a Tu-160 supersonic heavy bomber in an air show, and a Russian Sukhoi Su-27 over Chechnya in 2000. For anyone lacking the historical context, Chechnya in 2000 was one of the worst places to hang out in a fighter jet, and an even worse place to do so as the Russian President.

And he still found it boring

He also celebrated a deal bringing F1 to Russia by driving one around at 150mph and nearly crashing it. After personnel told him how fast he was going, he responded with, “For the first time, it’s good.” It’s good. For him 150 mph and nearly crashing a personalized F1 trial isn’t fantasy; it’s barely acceptable. He also upstaged President Barack Obama’s 2009 visit to Moscow by cruising into town with bikers called the “Night Wolves,” presumably just to mess up traffic for the American President and maybe to see what it was like to chain whip someone with a gang.

6. Defeating Nature

In 2008 Putin visited Ussuri national park with a camera crew to see a trapped tiger when the adjective “trapped” suddenly, and pants-shittingly, no longer applied. Faced with the now-loose predator, Putin scooped up a tranquilizer pistol, dropped the tiger and then, because just downing a people-eating jungle cat didn’t shake him up, he helped measure its teeth.

Sleep well, worthy foe.

The story is so fantastic it doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. If it’s true it’s better than our politicians, who are decidedly less accurate with guns.

And if it’s a lie then it’s still a better story than any of our politicians can muster, and certainly more comforting. Realizing you’re in the capable hands of a man who defeats tigers in his spare time is reassuring. Hell, it’s practically an honor to have your country dominated by a man like that. He also fired crossbow bolts at a whale as part of an eco-tracking effort, proving that even when he’s helping nature it involves at least medieval era weaponry. To give the whale a sporting chance he did so from a small rubber dinghy.

Captain Ahab used an entire ship. The pansy.

He’s also tagged and weighed a Polar bear, proving that he’s going to save the world if he has to defeat every single thing in it. He helped lift the tranquilized bear onto scales before shaking its paw, both to show respect as one unbelievable badass to another, and to get a measure of the bear’s physical strength should Russia ever need them as allies.

If only he was alive at the same time as Theodore Roosevelt they’d have sorted out the whole stupid Cold War mano-a-mano, and it would only have cost the world one forest of felled trees.

5. Judo-Throwing Japan

On an official trade visit to Japan in 2003 Vladimir took time out from negotiations to spiritually kick the entire country’s ass with Judo. In front of the Japanese Prime Minister in the Kodokan judo headquarters of Japan, Putin demonstrated his willingness to take on any nation at its own sport. He suited up and showed everyone his version of various sweeps and throws on the center Kodokan instructor in a sparring match. In fact, he’s the only world leader with a special move (Haraigoshi). While Qaddafi has to pay foreigners to fight his own people, you get the impression that if the Russian public ever rebelled Putin would roll up his sleeves and give the army the day off.

Putin simultaneously opens trade relations and his opponent’s kidneys.

He actually wrote the book on Russian Judo, which you can buy right now called Judo:History, Theory and Practice. Though, in Russia it’s called Judo with Putin.

And just like the best characters in Street Fighter, he’s said to have crazy glowing energy, long-distance attacks too; when Russian ex-spy, Alexander Litvenko died of radiation poisoning in London, some diplomats insisted that Vladimir likely knew about the assassination plot. He was, after all, the ex-head of Russian secret service and then President of the Russian Federation. While we don’t have any proof, we’re nearly certain that upon learning of Litvenko’s death, Putin had some pithy action movie line like, “You can’t expect to just leave the KGB without some … fallout.”

Via The Kremlin

We’re pretty sure James Bond just shat himself.

4. Male Modeling

Very few world leaders look good. Silvio Berlusconi had to sell his entire country to get women to stand near him, Kim John Il and son look like someone overinflated a pair of bleached footballs, and David Cameron looks like he at least encounters women provided they’re shopping for competitive insurance rates. Vladimir Putin operates on a different level, and that level is the top shelf magazines with the foil wrapping.Continue Reading BelowAdvertisement

Because women have votes too.

You look like a great catch.

But combining ass-kicking for straight men and considerate flexing for straight women still leaves 10% of the population, and that’s 10% more approval rating than Putin’s prepared to miss. So in addition to the fistful of heterosexual photos of him shirtless or dominating wild-animals, Putin also offers a compass for any Russian’s who are confused about where they stand or are otherwise directionless.

Via The Kremlin

Who could be confused under the comforting warmth of that piercing gaze?

Putin also knows there’s more to a man than a toned, musk scented exterior. He flexes his sensitive side frequently as well. In December of 2010, he played piano to raise money for a charity that supports children suffering from eye diseases and cancer, presumably because he felt sorry for the kids who would never be able to see his unadulterated masculinity with their own eyes. He even sang a duet with an adorable little girl in front of the cameras of the world.

Who cares if he’s Russian, at this point the Statue of Liberty would have dropped her torch if he proposed.

“But these are all PR stunts,” you may say, “just because he insists people should love him doesn’t mean they do.” But you’re wrong. Where American bureaucrats risk political suicide if they so much as breathe on an intern, Putin graciously and publicly accepts naked pictures of college co-eds. Not just one girl from a university, but all the girls at that university, with female Moscow State University students sending him an erotic calendar of themselves for his 58th birthday earlier this year; Russian women literally professionally print and bind themselves for delivery to his house.

Vladimir is sure your birthday cards are very nice too, of course

He got twelve for his birthday – that’s a dozen times better than JFK. He described the girls as “courageous” in an interview with Naomi Campbell, implying that even withstanding his magnetism was dangerous work and therefore honorable.

3. Internet Hero-ing

While most politicians have a worse understanding of modern technology than a whale wondering why that nuclear sub is playing so hard to get, Putin knows exactly what succeeds online: instead of promising tax cuts or health care, Putin asked “Can you help me name my new puppy?” He personally promised to read every suggestion, which seems like a big commitment for a man running a country to post on the internet, but known KGB agents probably get fewer “UR A FAG” messages than the rest of us.

The surgery to install the laser eyes and adamantium teeth won’t happen until later.

As you might expect from an internet naming competition the winning entry was “Buffy”, but it wasn’t because of basement-dwelling hackers hoping to turn Joss Whedon into an international incident. Five-year old Moscow boy Dima Sokolov suggested the name and was invited to meet Putin and the Puppy (Memo to Disney: get on that).

“Don’t worry, Dima. It isn’t uncommon for grown men to wet themselves in my presence.”

Just to give you the proper context for that Russian boy’s experience, this would have been the equivalent of you meeting Jesus and RoboCop at the same time. It could only have been better if Putin revealed he was the boy’s father, in which case the mother would have wholeheartedly believed him, and the ex-father would have been honored.

Putin also proved he has a finger on the pulse of the Internet last year when he trolled diplomatic cables describing him as Batman. He called the parallel “slanderous.” So not only is he so tough that professional politicos describe him in terms of DC’s most unbeatable hero, but he considers the comparison an insult.

2. Knowing When Bigger is Better

We’re not saying that Putin had the biggest nation-leading dick in the Northern hemisphere, because we don’t have to. Ex-President Bush said it for us in his autobiography Decision Points.

Everyone thought Bush was a lock for Biggest Dick of a President

It all started with an intercontinental dog show, which is a much more agreeable way to assert dominance than waving nukes at one another. When Bush visited Putin in Russia it quickly became clear who the big dog was: Koni, the black Labrador retriever Putin received from a Russian army General. It’s entirely possible that the dog was chose for the express purpose of embarrassing Bush’s tiny Scottish Terrier Barney.

As Koni charged across the field towards the two, Putin commented that she was “Bigger, stronger, and faster” — thereby making him the first man on Earth to be both tough and a fan of Six Million Dollar Man. According to Decision Points, when Bush relayed the story of Putin’s massive dog to Canadian PM Stephen Harper, he responded, “You’re lucky he only showed you his dog.”

Harper then made a thrusting gesture for several minutes on end.

We aren’t law experts but we think that means Bush just used his book to offer a trilateral declaration that Putin has a massive unit.

1. Inspiring a Nation

Earlier this year the independent country of Kyrgyzstan named a mountain after Putin. Which kicks the shit out of libraries and high schools. For anyone who lacks rudimentary geographic knowledge, or the willingness to search the Internet, Kyrgyzstan isn’t part of Russia, it don’t even border Russia. Yet the country clearly felt that if you’re going to share a continent with Vladimir Putin then you’d better be on his good side. Communications Minister for Kyrgyzstan, Nurlan Sulaimanov even worried that they weren’t giving him a big enough mountain.

“Only 13,000 feet? Is mountain for child Putin. Not man Putin.”

When informed about his new namesake, Putin didn’t respond with a simple thank you letter or a public assertion that it was too great an honor to accept, no. He said he wanted to climb it. A man of such indisputable manliness has no choice but to conquer everything he encounters, including his namesake.

So now that we know what his citizens think about him, lets return back to reality. In a previous article I discussed empires and how once they have fallen are not likely to ever recover, based on history that is. So Putin is fighting an uphill battle in trying to reclaim Russia’s former glory. It is important for the reader to know that even though Russia lost quite a bit of real estate after the cold war, it is still the largest country in land mass by far at 6.612 Million Square miles with Canada being a distant second place at 3.855 million square miles and the US coming in third place at 3.797 million square miles. Really, how much land is enough. However, you have to investigate a little further to see the total picture. What Russia did lose was over half of its population and GDP. Many of the countries that left the U.S.S.R. made up a good portion of the industrial might of the country. There has been rumors that Putin is not healthy and maybe he feels that his time is short, and that he needs to step up the pace to restore Russia to its former glory. It also may be prompting by Xi Jinping, we may never know for sure.

It is one thing to rescue willing people from a corrupt and brutal regime, it is another to invade a country against the people’s will for no other reason to salve one’s ego. I also think that he is an opportunist. He took advantage of a weak Obama and he is doing the same with an even weaker Biden. Rumor has it that he is feeling threatened by the possibility of Ukraine joining NATO. I think this is false, because I believe NATO has long since been defanged. It lost its way when the cold war ended.

One thing I know is that we should not underestimate Putin, he is a master chess player and is way ahead of Biden. However, I think he is a step behind XI Jinping. The only thing that is propping him up is Biden and his oil policy. If it weren’t for his weakness and missteps, Putin would not have the wherewithal and the courage to take this step. His pause in hostilities during the Trump administration has shown that he if nothing is patient and cunning. He has shown that he is student of world politics. He knows that Biden will lose control in the 2022 elections and he would most likely not be able to get away with his shenanigans afterwards. Thanks to the billions of dollars that we have given him for his oil, his war chest is full.

Is Putin crazy?

Maybe experts misread him. 

A former ambassador tweets that Vladimir Putin is “changed … disconnected from reality.” Obama Director of National Intelligence James Clapper claims on CNN that Putin is “unhinged.”

They are either analytically wrong or hopeful to be called back to TV and become relevant again.

Putin has been planning this opportunity for 20-plus years. He publicly stated after he took power in 1999 that the fall of the Soviet Union was the greatest geopolitical disaster of the 20th century. His ultimate goal: to bring back under Russian control as much of the previous Eastern Bloc countries as he can.

The talking-head “experts” on this “Putin is nutzo” theory point to the image of him sitting at one end of a long table and his generals hovering seemingly a football field apart at the other. But Putin enabled this picture to be taken to keep the West off balance.

Similarly Putin’s bringing up nuclear weapons as an option brings forth images of the Doomsday cloud in “Doctor Strangelove.” Our short memory span overlooks that he threatened nukes in 2014 over Western objections when Russia annexed Crimea.

Why invade now? He sees the West as divided and weak-willed. Russia went into Georgia in 2008. Then Putin annexed Crimea in 2014. The U.S. and Europe threatened, but did virtually nothing. In 2021 Putin watched the impotent departure of the U.S. from Afghanistan.

Is Putin surprised by the degree of financial sanctions? Probably. Likely also frustrated and angry. But he notes a division to exploit: The U.S. initially excluded energy from sanctions because Germany relies on Russian natural gas.

Won’t everyday Russians rise up against him with Russia excluded from the SWIFT financial messaging system? No. Hurting everyday Russians does not faze Putin. He has a plan B: develop an alternative to SWIFT with his own system, integrating the world’s No. 2 economy, China.

Can he count on China? Putin waited one day for the Beijing Olympics to be over before invading. China, which denounced Russia’s invasion of Crimea in 2014, has walked a diplomatic tightrope this time favoring Russia.

So what about his thuggish billionaire oligarchs perhaps assassinating him when their yachts in Monte Carlo become padlocked from Western sanctions? Wishful thinking: They can just move their boats to the Maldives which has no extradition treaty with the U.S. Plus, his buddies are as paranoid about outing him as the generals at the other end of the long table.

Putin is despicable but lucid. The U.S. geopolitical “experts” have misread him for over 20 years. A cringe-worthy example was President George W. Bush in 2001 saying that he had seen Putin’s soul and saw someone he could work with and trust.

So what’s next? Until Putin sees Germany or the U.S. putting its soldiers in harm’s way, he’s going to keep pushing. Surrounding Ukraine’s cities, starving its people. Lithuania, Poland next? The impact will extend to the northern Pacific and a profound American re-examination:

• North Korean missiles will accelerate over the Sea of Japan, where 50,000 U.S. soldiers are stationed. The risk of an unintended consequence will grow dramatically.

• China will increase its pressure to take over Taiwan. But Taiwan has many more protectors in Congress than Ukraine did before the invasion, so the risk of a China-U.S. confrontation increases.

• Ukraine has revealed that the U.S. and Europe have been in the grips of a delusional ideology rendering us incapable of understanding the hard realities of energy production. The U.S. predicted the invasion but did nothing overt to prevent it. Why? Largely due to German and European hesitation and their steady dependence on Russian energy. “The West fell into a hypnotic trance about healing its relationship with nature, averting climate apocalypse, and worshiping a Swedish teenager named Greta,” Michael Shellenberger noted. Meanwhile Putin made his move.

Annually, Europe depends on Russia for 20 percent of its oil and its coal, and 45 percent of its gas, so Putin has a hammer over Europe, especially Germany. While green ideology has put shackles on our coal, nuclear, and fracking production, releasing them on North American production would provide energy security for all of Europe.

There is no doubt that sanctions are hurting Putin and his cronies, but obviously not enough. If we want to stop him, we need either to really hurt him, by closing down all of his accounts.

More information on his mindset.

Is Vladimir Putin Crazy? Former Russian Government Official Suggests He Changed During Pandemic

Russian leader Vladimir Putin ordered his country to launch a wide-ranging attack on Ukraine on Feb. 24, 2022, hitting cities and bases with airstrikes and shelling. The attacks are leaving some to wonder if Putin is insane while others, including some U.S. conservatives, praise him as a genius.

Putin ignored global condemnation and threats of new sanctions, initiating a major military operation into Ukraine. He also appeared to refer to his country’s nuclear arsenal when he threatened any foreign country attempting to interfere in the attack with “consequences you have never seen,” The New York Daily News reported.

Some say Putin’s behavior changed dramatically during the covid-19 pandemic, bringing his sanity into question. People have noticed that Putin “has fundamentally changed amid the pandemic, a shift that may have left him more paranoid, more aggrieved, and more reckless,” The New York Times reported. 

“In apparent warning to the United States and NATO, Putin says in televised speech announcing war: ‘A couple of words for those who would be tempted to intervene. Russia will respond immediately and you will have consequences that you never have had before in your history,’” tweeted Jennifer Griffin (@JenGriffinFNC), national security correspondent for Fox News Channel.

Putin, 69, has been isolated for the last two years, meeting with cabinet officials mainly via video. He has also kept his trips abroad to a minimum. People who travel to Moscow to meet face-to-face with Putin, such as Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and French president Emmanuel Macron, must first pass through a “disinfection tunnel” and then sit socially distanced from the Russian president at a greater distance than the suggested six feet. The distance is so great that several memes have popped up mocking Putin’s social distancing requirements.

“His circle of contacts is getting smaller. It affects his mind,” a former official said. “He used to see things in 360 degrees — now it’s more like 60.”

Despite what has been described as odd behavior by Putin, former President Donald Trump loves him and described his recent aggression as an act of “genius.”

“I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of Ukraine, Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful,” Trump said during a Feb. 22 appearance on The Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Show. “So, Putin is now saying, ‘It’s independent,’ a large section of Ukraine. I said, ‘How smart is that?’”

Right-wing personality Candace Owens urged her 3 million Twitter followers to read Putin’s speech in order to know “what’s *actually* going on in Russia and Ukraine” and blamed the U.S. for the conflict. “WE are at fault,” she tweeted.

“He knows how to use power. We should respect that,” Trump said. Not all Republicans agree with Trump.

“Putin is a thug who has violated the sovereignty of a free country, and Biden’s weak standing on the world stage is inviting further aggressions. The U.S. and our allies must take immediate actions to cripple his regime,” Pennsylvania Senate GOP candidate Mehmet Oz said.

Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., a Trump critic, responded: “Former President Trump’s adulation of Putin today — including calling him a ‘genius’ — aids our enemies. Trump’s interests don’t seem to align with the interests of the United States of America.”


I think Putin is not only chess player he is a poker player as well. Soon after he invaded Ukraine, he threw out a veiled threat about nuclear weapons. I feel very confident that this was just a bluff, but it certainly made us take a step back along with other European countries. So as long as the world thinks he is crazy they will not intercede in this incursion in any meaningful way. Everybody but the left and Biden thought that our withdrawal from Afghanistan last year was a mistake, however only now are beginning to realize what the true ramifications were. Biden by his show of weakness and his failure to support his allies served to embolden Putin. What is next? Will Xi Jinping start his conquests in Asia? So, maybe Putin does not have his head up his ass. Maybe we are the bumbling fools here? Only time will tell. But I do know one thing , inaction is not an option.


arkansasonline.com, “OPINION | JOE O’BRIEN: Is Putin crazy? Maybe experts misread him” by JOE O’BRIEN; cracked.com, “7 Reasons Vladimir Putin Is the World’s Craziest Badass.” By Luke McKinney; moguldom.com “Is Vladimir Putin Crazy? Former Russian Government Official Suggests He Changed During Pandemic.” By Ann Brown;

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